|Treat her like you need her: Responding to Rodney Moncur|
Published: Jun 23, 2012
Kindly allow me space in your newspaper to respond to an article in The Tribune June 7, 2012, referring to Rodney Moncur entitled, “Women need to stop taking devil’s pills and take man’s seed”.
It was interesting to read the article referencing Democratic National Alliance candidate and social activist Rodney Moncur drawing women’s attention to the negative effect of using contraceptives. Moncur’s opinion might be true, but let us examine this matter more carefully. Your opinion is that women should cease use of contraceptives and have their babies. It is also stated that with the introduction of birth control to The Bahamas in 1966, women embraced the opportunity to become unfaithful to their spouses/fiancees/boyfriends. I am not sure which sector of society he is targeting but it appears as if he is talking about the matrimonial home. If that is the case, Moncur should have addressed the male population. Before I go any further, let me state right now that I do not support sex without marriage and neither do I support unfaithfulness in marriage. Husbands were admonished by God to love their wives. This is so because men cannot learn to love. If they do not love you, the more you do for them the less appreciative they become.
Moncur should be telling men to abstain or wrap it up until they are ready for a permanent relationship, and teaching them how to love, care and share. Sir, are you aware that many of the wayward young men are from the absent father homes and when the male leaves the female, he also leaves the child/children?
Women must protect themselves and it is unfortunate that this is done at such a great price such as the compromising of one’s health. However, the truth of the matter is that most of our men are weak, distrustful, cheating and could care less about the woman or the child. If many married women want to be honest they will tell you that the children’s father is at home but hardly plays an active role in their lives. You seem to be demeaning women as unfit wives and mothers. Instead, talk to the men and tell them to roll up their sleeves and become good role models – and also, that a father is not a sperm donor. He is a provider, protector, nurturer, counselor and a guide. He also needs to know that he could only lead if he is being led. He needs to know Jesus Christ as his personal savior and Lord and stop being a trifling, jive turkey of a human being.
Women must react when men act. Women are not toys. They are flesh and blood like men and if she is promiscuous, her better half is not taking care of her needs. Most of our men are not good communicators. For us to combat problems, we must sit down and talk about it. Our men do not have the time. You see, for the most part our women are not the problem. Men need to act like the priests they are supposed to be and take the time to listen. If I say we need to talk, we need to talk; not have sex. Men do not get it.
Sir, educate our men and tell them to wrap it up. After all if the woman relaxes and lets it go, home boy is gone too. Do not be biased. Men are equally responsible. Most of our men are insensitive to the needs of a woman, trifling and never satisfied. If women know that they are loved and respected, your seed is safe because she knows you will be there for her, giving her some time for herself. That is by changing, feeding and spending time with the baby. However, with the majority of male attitudes, before a woman conceives a child for these trifling fellows they need to prepare in their hearts to not only carry, but to work and raise the child.
When people love each other they communicate and make the decision to have a child. However, this conversation will be useless if the father had not contributed to the child or other children. Sir, you think Sarah called Abraham, her husband, Lord right so or because that was her husband? No sir. Abraham loved Sarah and she knew it. Love shines in the dark. Haggar got beside herself because she was with Abraham’s first child. Sarah let Abraham know that Haggar was being nasty to her. His response to her was “do what you see fit”. If that was a Bahamian man, he would hit his wife so hard she would stumble, and then he would leave the marital home and secure the other woman with the child.
The problem you are trying to fix will only be fixed after men learn to respect their wives. Randomly ask the average married male with children when was the last time he took his wife out somewhere or sat down and had a nice conversation with her. His response will be, “I do not know”. He is not taking her anywhere because for one, the marriage is crowded. He does not want the wife to know that there is another woman and he does not want to make the other woman unhappy because she just might see them or hear about their outing.
Furthermore, he will complain that the wife is either fat or lacks understanding. The other woman is probably the same but he could find no fault with her. She is loose. She takes his money and buys her clothing, her main man’s money pays the car note, and boyfriend number two’s money takes care of the miscellaneous, such as the manicure and pedicure.
Her money goes to the bank. Now you see we have competition and the men give their finances away to other women never looking after his home first. If you want women to take the man’s seed, stop trifling, playing the field and grow up. We are waiting for our men to act responsibly. Women are not toys. Stop playing with our emotions.
– Jillian Curry