|Let’s talk about sex|
Guardian Lifestyles Reporter
Published: Jul 19, 2012
With the topic “Sexperiment” on the agenda, worshippers at New Providence Community Church (NPCC) knew that Sunday past wasn’t going to be a regular service at New Providence Community Church (NPCC).
So when they filed into the church on Blake Road to see a bedroom scene complete with a massive bed set up in the middle of the stage, they knew that guest couple, Pastor Ed Young, from Fellowship Church and his wife of 29 years, Lisa, were not going to hold back and that they would lay it all on the line for them. And they were proven right as the couple took to the stage and sat on the bed to conduct the sermon. The first words out of the minister’s mouth were “Today we are going to talk about sex.”
And of course this came from the pastor, author and conference speaker who is noted for his creative communication style and passion for making the complex simple, as he speaks to people in ways they can understand and apply to their everyday lives. In his talk to the NPCC members he told the congregation that sex today has become decaffeinated and hijacked by culture. And the wonderful gift that God gave to man has become a commonplace thing that everyone but the church seemed comfortable talking about. He told them it was time to reclaim the sanctity of sex within marriage and invite God back into the picture where He should be.
“For too long the church has kicked the bed out and has taken God out of the bedroom,” said Pastor Young during his talk which he titled ‘Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse’. “This should not be because it is a perfectly normal and God ordained activity. So why don’t we talk about it? God is pro sex. He is the author of it and thought up sensuality — humans naturally being attracted to the opposite sex and the confines this mystical event should ideally occur under.”
If the bedroom set up did not bring the topic into the fore, the pastor having the congregation chant “S-E-X” certainly did. He wanted the congregation to realize that the three simple letters had more meaning than people give them credit for.
“They (the letters) no longer just make up a simple word meaning intercourse, but instead supernatural, enjoyment that is not x-rated but God created,” said the founder of Fellowship Church in Dallas, Texas and Miami, Florida.
The minister told NPCC members that it was important to remain intimate within marriage and do it God’s way. And despite all the struggles they may face from day-to-day — children, jobs, meetings and other engagements couples should make a concerted effort to be intimate because that is God’s intention.
The author of 14 books including “Sexperiment”, “The Marriage Mirror”, “Outrageous”, “Contagious Joy”, “Beauty Full” and “Kid CEO” said he and his wife wrote “Sexperiment” because behind family, the church is the second most important place to hear about sex.
“We personally knew how important it was for us to be intimate with one another,” said the minister. “Also it is a reality that married couples tend to want to have more sex or intimacy with one another, but they don’t know how to initiate it or arrange the time to make it happen. This is also something the book talks about. Just like you make time for everything else, you have to make time for this. If there is satisfaction and harmony in the bedroom there will be a balance in other aspects of your life together as well.”
Pastor Young said couples aiming to do sex and intimacy God’s way will know that it is more than just intercourse.
“It’s between the ears before it’s between the legs. It’s north before it’s south. It’s mental before it’s genital. God has a great purpose for sex. It is meant to be between one man and one woman despite temptations and weaknesses out there. He can do amazing things in a marriage if the gift of sex is used the way it should be,” he said.
To the unmarried people in the congregation who have had sexual intercourse, he said they can still make a promise to themselves to save sex for marriage. Pastor Young told them that the sex they have today will not compare to the sex they can and will have in marriage. He says sex within the proper confines becomes a journey and effort both partners take on for a lifetime and that it is a satisfying treat that God intended for His people if they do what is required.
The minister said for too long people felt that sex was nothing special since it could be done anywhere and anytime with anyone. He said that concept sullies what sex and intimacy is all about and many people are blind to the beauty of intimacy God’s way.
“It is also important that singles understand the importance of sex within marriage and what they will face one day when they too enter matrimony. No matter what, it is important for people to have God within their relationship — especially the intimate ones.”
Pastor Young challenged the congregation at NPCC, especially those who tend to have time to do everything else except make love to their spouse to commit themselves to the “sexperiment” and aim to have sex with their partner every day for seven days.
Having sex with their partner daily for seven days he said would guarantee that people would see what greatness God can create in their life and marriage by them simply joining with their partner sexually and finding creative ways to make love.
At the same time he said they would see how easy it is to make time and put the necessary effort into that key part of their marriage. Pastor Young said there are many things in life people neglect, but satisfaction in a marriage is not one of them.
“I encourage couples to take on the ‘sexperiment’ and purposefully make time to enjoy one another. It will strengthen your marriage and open your eyes to things you never knew possible. God meant for sex to be great and amazing and if it’s not happening for you then you need to read the book [‘Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse’] and get ideas on how to get there. It is time couples get the sex they desire within their marriage and not be afraid, because it is of God,” said Pastor Young.
To obtain a copy of “Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse” visit amazon.com or thesexperiment.com.
Outside of sex, Pastor Young told the NPCC members that there are other things couples preparing to enter into marriage should consider, as he said the core of the problems found in most marriages are power, money and sex (PMS). He said if these cannot be recognized, confronted and overcome a marriage will not last.
“It is essential to be open and comfortable with one another and one of the most vulnerable places to find that level of acceptance is in the bedroom. If people can overcome the barriers in their intimate lives they are more likely to be able to beat other things together as a couple,” said Pastor Young.