Don’t be an enabler
D. PAUL REILLY
Published: May 29, 2013
Now, many may say when they initially read the title of this article don’t be an enabler, what exactly do you mean by that D. Paul? Could you explain it a bit further. Of course! As Joel Osteen put it in an excellent talk he gave recently on television, although we all need to be as helpful as possible by encouraging people and assisting them whenever we can, each and every day, there comes a time when we need to perhaps set people free, and thus allow them to stand on their own two feet, as it were. But D. Paul when you do that they may in fact fall flat on their face, without you being there to prop them up, so to speak. Yes they probably will, but hopefully after they have fallen a few times, eventually they'll become fully aware of exactly why they're falling, and will thus gradually, bit by bit, learn how to stand upright again.
Joel emphasized, that although it's prudent and indeed correct from a spiritual perspective to assist others as much as we can with their everyday life and problems, there comes a time when maybe we finally realize, that unless we let these people go, they'll in all probability never learn life's lessons. They'll always be dependent on us to make everything right in their life. Yes indeed, Joel put it quite forcefully at one point in his talk when he said “Don't be an enabler!” I guess that's made a whole lot of people think deeply about some of the people in their life, whom they're ultimately hurting, by always being there to pick them up and bail them out when they once again mess up real bad. Perhaps now is the time for us to stop being an enabler, and instead to use what some refer to as tough love.
My friend, whilst life really is all about giving, about serving our brothers and sisters in God's one universal family, there comes a time when we, although we desperately want to give, to serve, to assist someone who is once again hurting because of their own foolish actions. We need to instead actually let them go, and perhaps for the first time in their life, actually stand up on their own two feet and thus take the consequences of their own actions, whatever those consequences may be.
Yes indeed, some parents who obviously very deeply love and care for their children, have been obliged to, in the child's best interests, use some tough love by leaving them to fight their own battles, to stand on their own two feet and face the music. Yes indeed, today's message is extremely important, don't be an enabler.
• THINK ABOUT IT!
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