PANSY HAMILTON BROWN

Happiness is like a butterfly. If you pursue it directly for holding it in your hands, it will fly away far beyond your reach. Sometimes, if you sit quietly and watch it fly around, it might perch on your shoulder or might come near enough for you to admire its beauty.

Happiness is not experienced by chasing money, education, popularity, control and power, or by creating standards to which others must respond, in order to bring self-importance to a glorified self. Thousands of people get on the trail of finding situations that they trust to generate joy, happiness and peace. Much to their dismay happiness is still lost.

John Powell, a famous author, states, "Happiness is not like putting many coins into a happiness dispensing machine. Then suddenly out comes the candy bar of happiness." True happiness must be cultivated by you. It is an intrinsic process in which you must engage to have the product called happiness. Whenever you emotionally develop high expectations of what external situations can do for your reservoir of happiness, you are on the way to depression and remorse. This is a fact, for most persons are not committed to make you or others happy.

Deep in the recesses of their natures, they seek happiness for themselves. A reality is that many persons get their joy whenever they see you "in the dump." They blossom well when you are depressed, confused, non-productive and entangled in the net of financial disaster and social crisis.

You are destined to die emotionally, if your happiness is rooted in expectations. It is no wonder that so many marriages end in divorce or separation. Many couples marry based on the high expectations of the profit that they think is obtainable from the relationship. When expectations are not met, the disappointment results in hate and anger. Delusion follows when you anchor your perceived happiness in persons or things. Happiness should be created and preserved in you, for you only know what makes you happy.

Although life has a myriad of negative experiences, you are endowed with enough inner strength to create your happiness by the choices that you make. Regardless of the disappointments that attempt to overshadow you, irrespective of the cruel, vicious, slanderous and sometimes life-threatening attacks from external forces, you can be happy. Your attitude really matters in all of life's situations. What you generate in your words, thoughts or actions, will blow back at you.

It is necessary that you form the habit to be happy. Many health organisations have singled out depression as one of the most frequent ailments worldwide. If you are not happy with your job, you need to either find reasons for being happy there, or change the job. If you are not happy with your family, conduct an inventory to discover what triggers negative emotions.

Are you happy with yourself? Ensure that you develop an appreciation for yourself and exode a high self-esteem that will radiate happiness. Be poised in the most difficult moments. Give expressions that you wish to receive from others. Nobody will appreciate you above your self-appreciation. Model the enthusiasm that you want others to see in you. Remember that the perception that people have of you, is the perception that you have of yourself.

Jealousy is a deterrent to life's happiness. It is like a cancer that can destroy your health and positive image. It impairs your emotions through the nervous system and eventually affects the various body organs and their functions. Learn to be content with your possessions, talents and influence. "In honour prefer one another." Be committed to happiness by casting away your bitter hate and jealousy. Anger, suspicion and bad attitude toward others will only muster a slow emotional death. Dr. West tells of a young woman who persistently complained about a bad headache. She was given several routine medical examinations, but there was no answer to her complaints. Her doctors became concerned about her health issue, but no medication helped. She now developed intestinal disorders, nerve conditions, body aches, pain-filled nights, and soon became bedridden. She became discouraged since there was no improvement and therefore, decided to try another doctor.

The new doctor through his conversation with her discovered that she was not married. She was jealous because her younger brother was married and she did not like his wife. She became overwhelmed with jealousy towards the couple, because she had a strong desire for a matrimonial relationship, but there was no suitor. After receiving professional counselling, she regained her health, but lamented about the hundreds of dollars she wasted for medical care. Her jealousy was certainly costly

"Live a happy life by filling your mouth with laughter." Laughter can be the best and most inexpensive medicine that can stimulate you to a happy and radiant life. Look for the blessings in your disappointments as you develop a "clean addiction" for a life of happiness.

pansyhamb@hotmail.com