By PANSY HAMILTON BROWN
Itinerant Guidance Counselor
The pathway of life has its troubling experiences that often threaten our peace, comfort, strength and courage. Journeys are sometimes paved with obstacles that seem to speak with one voice that triggers the fabric of your emotions. Sometimes you might feel to whirl yourself out of control and with despondency, decide that that you should let the 'the chips fall as they may." Situations might cause you to doubt your strength and resolution to beat against the tide of people's interpretations of your worth and self esteem.
Disappointment, failure and unpredicted circumstances can unite to rock the bottom of your aspirations, and blind your eyes to the possibilities to reclaim and correct some of life's situations. You must prescribe a renewal for regret and lament over lost dreams and untapped opportunities. The gold mines of joy, happiness and security must be discovered and possessed.
IN THE PITS
Whenever you are in the pits due to some lost hope and disappointment, when everything seem to go wrong, an extra effort must be made not to crumble under. Life's issues might even try to make you feel washed out and tired, and you find it difficult to make up your mind about things that really matter. It is then that you must exert the effort to climb out of the pits.
THE LOST BALLOONS
A mother recalls an unfortunate experience that has left indelible principles of life as reality faces us ever so often. It was her birthday, and her kind and loving children presented one of the most rare arrangements of balloons, candies and chocolate. Because it was presented on the job site, many of her colleagues, gathered and followed her to the parking lot where she intended to put the arrangement in her car. Just then, the crescendos of congratulations could be heard from a distance. From what would mother's heart be made, if she did not satisfy the desires of those who just wanted one of the goodies, which formed the base of the arrangement?
In an effort to fulfill that graving, before the third person shared in the delight, a puff of heavy wind rushed among the jolly group and pushed the balloons from mother's grasp. The helium in the balloons gave the power to rise above the heads of everyone. Some jumped to catch the hanging ribbons which accented the gift, but this was unsuccessful.
All stood and gazed, making shouts that they thought would bring the balloons back. As mother saw the useless effort, she wept bitterly as she watched the gift soar higher and higher, and then far away out of sight. Could this be true, she thought. "This is like a lost dream," she said sobbingly.
STAGES OF GRIEF
For the following weeks a mother passed through the stages of grief.
There was DENIAL: in which one refuses to face the issues and ignore the real experience.
ANGER: which results from the chaos within, as he fights the apparent monster that he faces.
DEPRESSION: can be a state of hopelessness, feeling of rejection as you sink in grief and resentment. It is only when you bring your mind under discipline and steadfastness to ride above "the storm".
ACCEPTANCE: leads you to disarm yourself of the shackles that bind your painful spirit.
This is when you have decided to see the stars, and not the mud of your circumstance.
The experience of the narrative is true in the lives of untold numbers of persons.
When expectations slip through your fingers like sand and you feel the pressure of your dilemma, it is then that you take stock of your reserve of patience understanding and the will to carry on. Margaret Powers advise, "When the outlook is not good, we don't need to worry.
Fretting will only tie us in knots. Worry will only cast a big shadow over our small problems-a shadow that should never cross our lives."
There are many hands of our experiences, that sometimes bring loss which attempt to shatter your life-long existence.
Divorce is a loss that can destroy every aspect of our lives, and should be treated as a loss, as we would money property or status. If divorce is not rightly treated, it can bring about years of sorrow.
The bruises, heartache and depression that some people undergo demand the full attention and support of all. Hope and confidence need to be restored when necessary, in order for them to maintain their self worth.
SURVIVING DIVORCE
Persons, who have to accept the challenge of divorce, must guard against the myriad of counsel that will come pouring in alike a flood.
Well-wishers because of the wrong choice of words or the faulty coping recommendations can create emotional wounds.
Avoid influences that suggest that you are a failure or that you are to be blamed for the decision. Surround yourself with positive persons who can help to recreate your intrinsic image.
Stop building castles of perpetual lament for the scars that are created by the one you loved and trusted. Instead of feeling that you are ruined, and that the darkness will engulf you, look for the good in your disappointment and determine to be an over comer, irrespective of what it might cost.
Realize that life has its mountain tops and deep valleys.
It is human to delight in the experiences of the mountain in terms of the successes, good relationship, financiers, educational fulfillment, popularity and fame.
The balmy air of such experiences can lead us into a comfort zone. Consideration however, must be given to the rest of life. Nobody will always live on the mountain. Your balloons can be blown away and you will eventually come down to a valley of loss and regret. Life is real, and the valley experiences can help to enhance some of the finer graces of life.
So be thankful for the high times in life's drama, and be encouraged when the low times test your worth.
You should allow the green lights of hope to continue to beckon us to forge ahead with optimism and confidence.
You must be in control of our aspirations. Be the vessel that will contain your dreams as you resolve to swim and not sink. You may refuse to accept the pain that your mistakes contribute to losing your balloons.
Never be apologetic so that you become detached from a sincere acceptance of your inadequacies.
You must learn how to deal with guilt and miscalculated decisions.
Unless you cast off selfish pride that glorifies self, and yield in submission, your peace will be destroyed.
Like the balloons that became aviated because of the lack of due caution, and the absence of alertness, and logical procedures for safety, disastrous experiences will plague our steps.
Each of us has fears, and has suffered the loss of something in life. Even though some people seem to model complete satisfaction, if there is not a deep settled peace inside, we will not be free from anxiety and doubt.
Lasting peace can only be real and permanent through Divine interventions. Such peace is a gift given to humanity with invaluable proportions.
The balloons of life are passing, and can only give temporary happiness. True happiness is cherished when we have felt sadness. Friendship can be more valuable when we have known loneliness.
A sophisticated life can be enjoyable after we have suffered hardship and wants. There must be an appreciation of the low valley experiences before the mountain can be a true pivot of our functions. An abundant joy should be so deep inside that the challenges of life cannot dismantle it, or blow our balloons out of sight.
KEEP YOUR DREAMS AFLOAT
As you keep your dreams afloat, develop the habit of thinking always of good things, interesting things and your successes.
Always envision your desired achievements and opportunities for service as you seek to help those who are in need.
Develop the habit of looking at every problem and difficulty as a stepping-stone to your victory.
Toughen up the muscles of your character as you tackle unpleasant task and the mundane things of life. Be resolved to be always true to your conscience.
Make a habit of smiling with people and bring sunshine in somebody's life daily.
Practice to always think happy thoughts about the people with whom you relate daily.
The moment you feel depressed feelings coming on, deal with them right away.
Discover the reasons for your feelings and seek for help as quickly as possible. Changing your environment can assist you in changing your thoughts.
You might need to drink some cold water, do some breathing exercises in the fresh air.
Vigorously wash your face and the back of your neck with cold water.
Be determined to be resilient in all aspects of your life, as you hold on to your dreams.
