By Pansy Hamilton Brown

Parents have the responsibility of monitoring their children's behavior as they set their own limits of acceptable conduct. However, many parents find it difficult to follow through with the guidelines of discipline that they have established. Children have more respect for parents who are consistent, firm and caring in their disciplinary plans. The action plans for discipline in the family, reveal the level of integrity, order and strength of character that parents possess. Active follow-up, kind and caring parenting skills lead children to high levels of trust and confidence in their parents.

There are times when children will misinterpret the intentions of parents and may even rebel as they resist authority. However, such negative reactions are not reasonable enough for parents to be apologetic in their procedure or recant because of opposing views. No matter how teenagers display that they want to be let alone to chart their course, they sometimes feel abandoned and unloved whenever their boundaries are removed and supervision is lifted.

Indeed, one of the most important and challenging aspect of parenting is the disciplining of their children. Although parents often feel that they have full control over their children, it is observed that some children often exercise authority over their parents through subtle ways. They sometimes seek to manipulate through their persuasive appeals, passionate requests, affectionate hugs and kisses. Consistent arguments to defend their desires are techniques that they sometimes use. It is during times of such emotional appeal that many parents give in and minimize their authority. Parents must be cognizant of their responsibilities, and must be reminded that they have been mandated through principle to have their children disciplined without excuses or blame. Discipline at home prepares the children to live respectable lives, display good citizenship and provide skills for their adult years.

For children to be disciplined, adults who influence their lives should be disciplined and exemplary themselves. Nobody will be successful in correcting in others similar challenges that he himself has not corrected in his own life. Though it can be painful at times to deal with certain issues and irregularities frankly, parents must become resolute to stand for right unflinchingly, with respect, compassion and understanding.

The purposes for disciplining children should move beyond the subjective approach in thinking that children's acceptable conduct glorifies the parents and creates opportunities for being acclaimed as good parents.

Children should be educated to understand that intrinsic discipline will help to accomplish the following:

Development of self-management skills,

Protection from internal and external dangers

Awareness and practice of moral code of conduct.

Direct attitudes and thoughts in positive directions.

Skills that will build resilience in the face of defeat and disappointment.

Make goal orientation meaningful

Priority in financial affairs.

Teach the dignity of labor.

Remain poised in the midst of negative influences.

Development of self-respect and respect for others and their properties.

Live decent, orderly and productive lives.

Be good citizens and be committed to nation building.

Teach that all things are under law and that disobedience leads to disaster and undue suffering.

Teach the need for accepting boundaries and limits in all aspects of life.

Respect authority.

Develop a keen sense of responsibility.

Parents are leaders in their homes, and they can only be as good as their own standards. There must be credibility to their life-style in order to effectively influence their children. In making their skills operational, they must ensure that there are evidences of positive modeling, inspiration and building stones for good moral character development.