The terms 'family violence and violence among intimates,' are used to refer to

any act that is carried out with the intention of causing physical harm to related individuals, or those in close primary relationships. The broad definition

includes acts such as brutally spanking a disobedient child, raping a lover, or

murdering a spouse. Today, it is unfortunate that many persons are more likely to be physically assaulted, beaten, raped or killed in their own homes. These negative actions are likely to be carried out by hands of loved ones,

than in any other place or by anyone else in society. Violence and abuse are no more happening behind closed doors. It is no more hidden from public view,

since many feel justified in their actions. Family violence does not usually occur in societies where people are respectful to the rights of others and love and dignity are maintained. Quarrels, child abuse and fights among family

members might me termed to be normal, appropriate and as giving administration of discipline. There needs to be an acceptance of cooperation,

commitment, sharing, respect and a clear understanding of the roles of each family member. Families must be characterised by knowing that stereotypic behaviours in sex roles must be minimised. Family violence is more prevalent in societies in which there is a battle for dominance, control and power. Women who are compelled by unavoidable situations to have the major

responsibility of child rearing, and the unreasonable demands of providing for the family, often have an irritable nature. This allows a high level of stress, fatigue and restlessness. Intra-family violence is a negative behaviour between spouses, children and other members. There is really no one factor that contributes to disorderly, abusive and life-threatening incidents. One of the myths of family violence is that it is rare and whenever it is found, a change of attitude can be immediately experienced. Family violence is like an outburst of a communicable disease that should be feared by all. Many heories have been used to explain interpersonal violence in families, but there

is no one answer that has been arrived at. However, research has confirmed that many incidents can be attributed to psychopathologies, alcohol and drug usage. Other causes can be linkded to psychological, social issues and the inability to display good self-management. Domestic violence is also rooted in gender power. Some males often seek to exercise control, authority and dominance over the rights of women. There are also incidents where women sometimes attempt to have similar authority over the males' role in the family, which often leads to anger. A feminist theory indicates "that incompatibilities in education and occupational prestige between men and

women, give men greater power and control. Violence is a social practice that enables men to express a masculine identity." (J Ross Eshleman) From interactions with violent families, it is clear that violence begets violence.

Aggression can be transmitted through generations. Parents who shout at family members are often likely to become abusive. They sometimes use verbal and physical violence to satisfy their passion for anger. There are five

social factors that converge to cause the high rates of family violence:

1. INTRA-FAMILY CONFLICT

– The irony is that the same characteristics and energy that contribute to love and intimacy, are sometimes reversed and contribute to conflict.

2. MALE DOMINANCE IN FAMILIES – The male as head of the family, operates from a sense of rulership, dominion and force. These are accepted as keys that they use for resolving conflicts.

3. CULTURAL NORMS – The concept that parents have a legal right and an obligation to spank children, slap or hit with force in the administration of discipline. This behaviour is sometimes interpreted as having good home structure.

4. SOCIALISATION IN VIOLENCE – Children's continuing experience of seeing violence being used between parents, provide models for future violence in their relationships as they grow older.

5. PERSUASIVENESS OF VIOLENCE IN SOCIETY – Legitimate violence includes physical punishment by authority, television, movies and natural penalties as consequences for civil violations. Violence in these areas can

spill over in other areas of life. There is an abundance of data to support the fact that domestic violence is a deterrent to healthy family relationships.

Although this behaviour is often trans-generational, with education, counselling and behaviour modification among family members, the cycle can be broken. The goal of family life is to have a peaceful, happy and intimate relationship among all members. Professionals as well as laymen, are encouraged and challenged to be the catalyst for change.

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