Betty Vedrine,Guardian Features Reporter

Everyone loves a wedding. Many would even say that it is one of the most important days in a couple's life. But it can also be the most stressful and daunting experience if not handled properly.

The most important thing to do is to plan the event well in advance. After becoming engaged, the couple should set the date. Then, it's wise to plan a venue for the ceremony and reception. Any theme can be chosen for the event without spending a fortune.

Next, it's necessary to set a budget. Traditionally, the bride's parents pay for the wedding. However more and more couples are paying for their own weddings.

If you wish, you can go the traditional route and announce your engagement in the newspaper. The following is a template of the usual format: The engagement is announced between John, the youngest son of Mr & Mrs Elroy Bain of New Providence and Victoria Lyn, the only daughter of Mr & Mrs Jack Smith of Eleuthera.

If your ceremony is a religious one, the priest or pastor will explain the proper procedures and organise the reading of the Banns. If your day is a civil one, then you can enlist the services of the Justice of the Peace or a Notary Public. Most importantly, you must apply for and obtain a marriage licence from the Registrar General before the wedding day.

Finally, if formality is not your preference, you can ask your travel agent to arrange an all-inclusive wedding holiday in an exotic location. Remember to do some research because each country has different laws regarding marriage and residency requirements. You may have to be in the country for at least 48 hours before a licence can be issued.

Invitations

Invitations should be sent at least six weeks before the wedding day, preferably by the bride's parents. A good stationer can offer a variety of options or you can purchase software to produce your own on a computer. Be specific with information on the invitations, including whether a response is expected and when, directions and/or maps to all venues with details or overnight accommodations for any out-of-town guests.

Gifts

If you wish you can register for gifts at a local department store. Remember that you are not limited to just house-wares. Presents will be wrapped and delivered to the couple near the wedding day.

Photographs and video

Every couple wants to cherish this special occasion, so you will need to enlist the services of a professional photographer and videographer. Make sure you visit a variety of photographers and view their portfolios before making a decision. It's also a good idea to visit the church and reception site with the photographer to get an idea of how best to use the locations. Remember to speak with your priest or pastor about "positioning" your photographer and videographer during the ceremony. Remember, the church is first and foremost, a place of worship.

Transportation

As you know, you will be needing some form of transportation. You can be creative in this area and perhaps hire a horse and carriage or a vintage car.

Flowers

The choice of flowers is a personal one but your decision will most likely be influenced by the season and your budget. If you ever wondered why brides carry flowers, it's been said that it's because flowers symbolise fertility and children. It is preferable for the bride to carry fresh flowers, unless she is allergic to them or wants to keep then indefinitely. Also, flowers can be used to decorate the church and tables at the reception site.

Wedding cake

The centrepiece of your wedding is the cake. You can hire a baker or cake specialist to make your cake. You can choose from a variety of fillings or flavours. Pieces of cake can also be boxed as small keepsakes for your guest. You can also give nuts or candies as party favours. An increasing amount of couples are choosing to give miniature bottles of champagne and small boxes of chocolate as keepsakes. Another idea is to provide disposable cameras for your guests to take pictures of incidents that you might miss.

The day

When the day arrives, etiquette is of paramount importance. The ushers, best man and groom are the first to arrive at the church and should be in place at least a half hour before the ceremony starts. Ushers control the flow of guests, showing them to their seats and handing out the Order of Service. The first two rows are normally allocated to immediate family. Family and guests of the bride sit on the left side of the church and the groom's on the right. The best man and groom should take their seats at the front of the church. The Congregation should arrive at least 15-20 minutes before the ceremony. Care should be taken to avoid disrupting the service. This includes arriving late. Then after all are seated, the bride makes her entrance.

Reception

Once the ceremony is over, the bride and groom should be the first to arrive at the reception site. I know that this is normally not the case but this proper etiquette. It may be appropriate also for the wedding party to form a reception line as guests enter to ensure that everyone greets the couple. This can be used as a couple h'ouveours and drinks can be offered at this time. After the cocktail hour (about 30 minutes later), everyone should take their seats. The meal should be served.

Speeches, anyone?

A traditional format starts with the bride's father of father figure welcoming the groom's family, followed by the groom, then the bride if she wishes (this breaks away from tradition but is perfectly acceptable). The last speech is usually delivered by the best man.

Cutting of the cake

The cake is cut by the bride and groom and then the rest of the cake is cut into smaller pieces by caterers and distributed amongst the guests.

Tossing of bouquet

The bride may wish to toss her bouquet over her shoulder to a gathering of unmarried ladies or the bouquet can be placed on the grave of a loved one.

Wedding superstitions

For those superstitious persons, the following quirky thoughts might be of interest:

* It is bad luck for the groom to see his bride on the morning of their wedding day, especially in her wedding dress. He should see her for the first time at the church.

* The colour white denotes purity.

* It is good luck for the groom to carry his wife over the threshold of their home for the first time.

* The bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

Flowers and their meanings:

Acacia - secret love

Apple blossom - perfection

Chrysanthemum (red) - love

chrysanthemum (white) - truth

forget me not - true love

geranium - true friendship

honeysuckle - bonds of love

ivy - fidelity

jasmine - sensuality

lilac - first emotion

lily of the valley - happiness

mimosa - sensitivity

rose - love

sunflower - adoration

tulip - love

violet - faithfulness

Wedding anniversaries

Surprise your mate with a gift made from the material associated with that anniversary.

Gift guide:

1st - cotton

2nd - paper

3rd - leather

4th - silk/flowers

5th - wood

6th - sugar/iron

7th - wool/copper

8th - bronze

9th - pottery

10th - tin

11th - steel

12th - silk, fine linen/leather

13th - lace

14th - ivory

15th - crystal

20th- china

25th-silver

30th-pearl

35th-coral

40th-ruby

45th-sapphire

50th-gold

55th-emerald

60th-diamond

70-platinum

80th-coral